Dear Dad,

I failed her today.  Little Miss wanted to ride her bike again.  We haven't done it in over a week, so I was a little tense knowing how she reacts when her feet have to get wet again.  D is out of town.  He is always better at this stuff.  The being patience stuff.  The first fall she took wasn't a bad one.  It shook her confidence I could tell.  I gave her the pep talk about not giving up, and try try again - thinking that was what she needed to hear.  Off she went again.  It was obvious before she even picked her foot up that she was in her head, telling herself she couldn't do it.  Down she went.  This fall was a little worse, a minor bloody lip, stopped in just a few seconds.  I'm not even sure she knew she had one.  I so badly wanted her to realize that she had done this just a week before and rode all over the neighborhood!!  I wanted her to realize that she didn't have to wonder if she had it in her, she could KNOW it.  I started to get frustrated that she wasn't realizing her potential and she was missing out on all this fun she could be having.
The bike riding ended, her in tears and me frustrated and mad at myself for not knowing how to better handle this situation.  I'm her mom.  I should know what she needs, and how to give it to her.
At bedtime, I laid next to her and told her how much I loved her.  I told her I was sorry for not always knowing the right thing to say.  I snuggled her and kissed her and hopefully left her heart mended from the hurt I may have caused her today.
I sat on the couch tonight wondering why I couldn't get her to understand she was brave.  How could I get her to understand that believing in yourself is imperative to making it through school and life that she is being thrust into so quickly.  I thought about what you might say.  You might say being brave is exactly what Little Miss did in some ways.  She was brave enough to try, more times than she wanted to.  She didn't give up after the first fall, she tried 2 more times.  She didn't say she couldn't when she wanted to quit, she said she didn't feel up to it any more that night.  She was brave to tell me that she was scared.  She trusted me with her feelings.
Thats when the real sadness crept in.  The feeling that I failed her.  I showed her that her feelings weren't safe with me, and that I was disappointed in her for stopping.  How could I do that to her?   This was about more that just the bike ride tonight, it was about how I deal with her feelings.  She is such a tender spirit.  One that requires so much love because she is so vulnerable all the time.  I don't want that to change, ever.  I realized tonight how I need to change some things.  After the sadness, came the relief that I now know what I can do different tomorrow.  Tomorrow is a new day.
Love,
C